Christmas eve

I spent my Christmas day doing nothing much. Last night, I took a cab down to meet colleagues for "I am Legend". The ah-beng cabbie told me he didn't want to ferry "chinamen" and imitated their accent and said "can you bring me to clarke quay? I want to have coffee at this corner stall....", to which I could only smile politely. I don't know if it's because Al called to check where I was and I said I was still on the cab that the cabbie started speeding. I think I've never been on a cab that moved that fast. When I reached Marina Square (in just about 8 minutes or so), the cabbie laughed and said "Next year I can take part in Grand Prix!".......

Well, heng we weren't late for the movie. Anyway it sucked. I thought it was worth only 40% on the tomatometer. (Rottentomatoes's rating is about 60 percent or so). You know, it's that kind of movie which you wonder why you're in the cinema after 30 minutes, and then you roll your eyes at the end.

ok. gotta go and sleep. write some more some other time...

代替 - 林倛玉

放开你的手
不管等多久
失败是成功之母
我们不怕苦
找得到路

你教我的歌
你唱歌的声
将那人潮都暗哑
甜美而优雅
好牵挂

原来思念也有生命
有呼吸 有你
扎根在我的心
像部分身体
再多的风雨
再多不允许
都不能阻挡
我们在一起

原来思念也有意义
有爱与勇气
我不在身边
就让思念代替
代替我去爱你
去呵护你

放开你的手
送你到最后
你的泪在我的胸口
不管等多久
无所求

A curious sort of heartache.

That night, when you walked towards me, I thought it funny that we were dressed compatibly. Black and white. Then it wasn't funny anymore when someone mistook me for your girlfriend, or when your acquaintance shook both our hands because he thought I was your date.

Minus the unfunny bits, I was glad that at least we could talk to each other normally. We laughed and felt stupid together when we realised we sat at the wrong table. The light-heartedness lasted for quite a while. We chatted like we never stopped talking to each other. You excitedly talked about your preparation for what's to come. Part of me was happy for you. The rest was mostly resignation and a curious heartache. But I still listened intently, offered my suggestions and smiled. Then others started talking to you. I was relieved that I did not have to smile anymore.

As the evening wore on, I grew increasingly tired. There was laughter all around and meaningless chatter. I can't remember what caught our attention and caused us to turn and face each other. I guess you finally sensed that I wasn't that comfortable in your presence. I averted my gaze, turned back to my food and looked around. Then I saw us seated together. Our reflections in the glass had caught my eye. I wonder if you had seen what I saw.

We parted after the dinner ended. When I reached home, the mascara-stained tears started rolling down my cheeks. I went to bed thinking how foolish I am for feeling this way. How foolish.