Will talk about Dinner and Dance when I get the photos.

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I need a break.

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Going to Sentosa a few times this month. Camp recce rescheduled to 5th instead because there's Zoukout on 4th. Next weekend's the camp. The weekend after next I will be staying over at Rasa Sentosa with my mom and sis.

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It's my mentee's birthday today. Guilty me just sent an sms to her. I wish I can bring her out soon. But when is soon?

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WW asked me a question last night. He's having problems with his exams. Feeling unmotivated and that failure is very near.

I tried to be encouraging and could have said something harsh in the process.

He asked, "Are you tired of me?".

I was surprised and sad. For a moment, I thought of why he could have asked that question. Maybe other friends have scolded him. I guess most probably his best friends.

WW, I said it last night and will say it again here. Whatever it is, true friends will never tire of you. Have faith in yourself and us. Take this as a lesson learned.

Don't give up.

End of the week. I'm coughing less. =)

I went to my first chinese non-relative's wedding dinner tonight for which I gave an angpow myself. Quite an experience and I got a silly video taken of me, AGAIN. Of me trying to eat prawn with a pair of chopsticks and dropping it countless times. Making stupid faces.

Had my annual appraisal (wouldn't go into details). Conclusion: Is personal performance or working relationships with others more important?

Had my third hip hop class. Instructor says he's not coming next week because we're too lousy. Nah, he's busy so he can't make it.

I'm going for dinner and dance tomorrow. Should be fun. Will post pictures if possible.

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I laugh so hard that I don't know if I'm shedding tears of joy or sadness.

I have been having weird dreams these few days. Dreams which come true in my dreams. I wonder, have I been thinking so much about them subconsciously that I get my wishes granted in my dreams? I don't really like the idea. When I wake up, I feel disturbed. I feel this acute sense of loss.

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I ate a lot today. Went to nanny's house and I ate three pieces of home made fried carrot cake, two bowls of plain porridge with pieces of preserved vegetables and seaweed from her hometown. For dinner, I had two bowls of rice with prawns, 3/4 plate of vegetables, uncountable meatballs and two bowls of soup. Nanny kept telling me to eat as much as I can. Because she's now living alone and she doesn't eat much, I tried to finish as much as I could so that the food would not go to waste.

I am surprised at how much of a pig I can be. Maybe I'm just a depressed and hungry little pig.

When talking is a hard thing to do.

Listening to: Cough Symphony Number 9 by e-y

I'm coughing my lungs out. Haven't visited the doctor. Coughing, coughing, coughing.

When I reached the office today, I saw on the table a bottle, tablets and post-its pasted on them. Colleague got a bottle of Gly thymol gargle for sore throats, flu and fever tablets for me. The previous night when we were going home together, he told me to go get the gargle when I passed by the pharmacy. I just nodded and nodded and he knew I wasn't going to get it anyway. Asked me why and I just gestured that I wasn't going to pass by any pharmacy. Then I reached my stop.

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I fell sick in November last year. Sore throat and cough too. Nut had placed a packet of lemon flavoured Strepsils in my letterbox and told me to open my letterbox while we were chatting online. It was a pleasant surprise.

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So today, medicine magically appeared on my work table. Well, I offered to pay for it but he declined. Well, I didn't really know what else to say. Was very touched by his kind gesture.

Thanks so much.

Feeling sick.

It's hip hop tomorrow and I'm kinda sick. I think I have a slight sore throat and my nose is watery. No appetite. Don't feel like talking. Oh well, no excuse not to go for the seminar tomorrow morning and I'll have to work for the rest of the day, unless I go take an MC which is also of no point. I want to maintain a clean record. No MC for the whole year!

Oh well, maybe I'm tired. Haven't fallen sick in a long, long time. I guess no one likes falling sick. I don't like feeling woozy from medication. Most of all, I dislike the vulnerability I feel. Often, when I lay on the bed, barely strong enough to move myself to the kitchen to drink some glucose, Mom would scold me for falling sick. I always felt so tired, weak and uncomfortable that I wanted to cry. So when I fall sick, I always long for some comforting voice or touch.

Like when I was small and my nanny took care of me. I loved her touch. How she would soothe my fears and pat me to sleep. I wish someone would take care of me like she did.

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I watched "Before sunset" today. It was a mad rush. Ran off at 6.10 p.m. to catch a show at Cathay Cineleisure at 6.40 p.m. I think I still love "Before Sunrise" more. Although I now have the answers to questions like what happened 9 years ago, whether they met up and etc., it's like a part of me feels that perhaps, the questions are best left unanswered.

Listening to: Numb~ Linkin Park

Was supposed to go to my nanny's house yesterday but ended up spending the day out with my relatives who are visiting. Was a really tiring day which ended with me trying to book a hotel room for them as they are visiting Kuala Lumpur. Called the hotel, got through to the main reception and then a second person and then had problems getting the person handling reservations to answer. He seemed unable to hear me and I almost shouted into the phone after he went "hello" a few times and he hung up on me. Thrice.

Asked II to help me try (Thanks II! I really appreciate the help!) and he couldn't reach the person as well. After a while, my sis tried and she managed to get through. Bleah. Hahahaha.

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Today I went to my hairdresser to get a haircut. It was almost raining and thunder roared but I had to go down because I knock off too late on weekdays. Got the haircut to shut people up. Hahaha. Before anyone says "your hair is getting rather long" (hint: it's getting messy) again. So now I have a fringe and the same length of hair. It looks neater and I'm a happy girl!

Went to Soup Restaurant (or is it Soup Kitchen?) to have dinner with the mentors. SF's birthday. Thanks SF, for the very nice dinner. He chose all the dishes which I thought were really yummy. After that, J said she had to buy some stuff. J and SF then walked ahead while PL, Bubbly and I walked slower and waved to them from a distance. J sorta understood.

So J led SF on a walk while the three of us went to get him a present. Really, really hard to find him a present since we really didn't know what he wanted or needed (save for those things that cannot be bought!). Well, we ended up getting an Adidas vest and a pair of Puma shorts.

When we all met after buying the present, we sat down at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and talked crap. PL got SF a slice of cake. Surprise surprise! Then we sang him a birthday song and gave him the present. Took a lot of pictures and a couple of videos and it was so funny! Especially the one where SF posed with the shorts.

Memorable. Last year on 21st November, we were at Paulaner's for SF's birthday where the lead singer sang SF a song. Can't remember what song that is. "With or without you" by U2?

Here's to more birthday celebrations! =)

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PL and I missed ANTM 2. Hahahaha.

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SF should lose a bit of weight, especially around the chest area.

What PL just described is quite hilarious. Some guy from school who is so big breasted that he can wear a bra. =P No joke!

Oh well, enough of my rubbish. Heh.

Currently listening to: Theme from Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence-Ryuichi Sakamoto

So I went out for lunch with couz. Talked quite a bit over lunch. Then we were deciding where to go. Being the ever "anything" person, I found it difficult in deciding which to choose. So I said "anything" since everything sounded fine. Couz made a remark that made me think. She said that I didn't always used to be like this, at least not back in school.

I think I have written about this somewhere, not sure where. Some entry about becoming someone who doesn't choose anymore. Because I no longer bother about choosing since I mostly land up with things I didn't choose in the first place. However, I'm sure I still have my own stand on some issues. Just some. Most of the time, I guess I just irritate people when they ask me to choose. Because I just choose "anything". Anything doesn't mean anything.

So we went off to the arts house thinking we could catch "Vagina Monologues". When we reached, we were told that it was sold out. Quite disappointing but I'm quite sure we can catch it some other time when it's on again.

So we went off to Asian Civilization Museum, which was what we originally planned on doing anyway. Am quite impressed by the place. It took us quite some time (many interesting exhibits on Asia) before we got to the Ottoman exhibition. I learned quite a few new things today! Going to museums is more interesting than I thought. Heh.

Glad that we both enjoyed today's outing. Looking forward to our next!

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After we parted, I was thinking of what to do. Sat at a bench at citylink, resting my feet and people watching. Walked to HMV after that. Today, I heard three versions of this song. When I was at HMV, I heard Maksim's and Duel's versions. Came home and listened to Ryuichi Sakamoto's version. Then I realised it sounded really familiar. Stupid me has it on a cd I bought. But that cd version is called "Forbidden colours" and it has a male singer actually singing something while the other versions are purely instrumental.

After going to HMV, I finally decided to cut my hair and went down to Chinatown. When I got there, I could only watch my hairdresser from a distance. "Closed" tag on the door. Hairdresser counting earnings for the day. Felt kinda lousy. Had lousy MacDonald's for dinner at close to 9 p.m. where I had to wait for this stupid woman asking for this and that from the poor counter staff. I think the other counter staff could sense my exasperation and hinted to her to quickly serve me 'cos other people were standing beside me. Thanks. I was rather happy with your service.

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I hate people lying to me. Or that you tell me bullshit. I would rather that you tell me everything rather than nothing at all. I give up.

So Iris Chang, author of "The Rape of Nanking", committed suicide using a gun. Depression. Wonder what happened.

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I greeted A on MSN with a "Hell" 'because I typed too fast.

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Did a house visit today. Well, I didn't even manage to get into the house. My colleague placed a namecard at the gate and it was untouched. Means the old man didn't go home since 9 November. Which made us worried. No smell from the house though. He's close to 80 years old.

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Going out with couz tomorrow. Lunch then exhibition at Asian Civilizations Museum.

Third steamboat dinner at SF's house

Spent half the day at home and then went off to SF's house for steamboat with the mentors. It had been such a long time since we last met up and meeting one another again was really, really a happy thing. Too bad G couldn't make it or else it would have been all eight of us.

Reached there in the evening and watched J and Bubbly play some ninja turtle game. It was so funny! After that, we had fun catching up while eating food. Had steamboat, fruits, wine and lastly ice-cream which PL bought. Watched Singapore Idol and the 9 o'clock swimming show and did a lot of bitching together. Went back to the kitchen after the shows ended and had the wine and ice-cream. J talked about a friend's boyfriend who recently passed away because of some skin-eating disease/cancer. SF went on to talk about his friend who has been on respiratory aid for about 6 years. Only able to move his eyes. Can't speak or move any other parts of his body. Then another friend who had an accident and now has permanent brain damage.

Life is so unpredictable. I was reminded of the letter I wrote to myself for the course I attended the week before last week. Six months later, the trainer will mail them back to us. While I was writing the letter, a strange thought suddenly came to mind. Would I get to read this, I thought.

Anyway, everyone seemed rather contemplative while SF and J did the sharing. I wanted to tell a silly story to break the tension but decided not to in the end. Anyway, we went home after that. Well, well, I shall have to save that for another day. Monday we will be meeting up to celebrate SF's birthday. Till then.

In the end, I reached home at midnight. PL had a scary encounter. Next time, we shall try to go home earlier or cab together, if we are going back east.

P.S. Glad you liked it! =)

Remembered the news last evening on age 62 being too early for retirement. Recently I just got a earful from this guy when I referred him for job assistance. I still remember he said something like "Not everyone is like our Minister Mentor, if you want to work at our age, no one's really keen on employing you. Well, unless you're the Minister Mentor."

I just tried to encourage him to at least try. I know he's been trying and I hope that he's got some news now. But I know chances are slim.

Raising the retirement age is not feasible right now. Fortunately they are not doing that now (guess it's not because they don't want to but they can't) but it will surely happen in this decade or the next. What MM Lee is talking about requires a huge change of mindset. I don't think retirees will mind a lower wage but it's not easy to get employers to employ people over the age of 62. Those who are over the age of 62 now are mostly not that well-educated. Maybe ten or twenty years down the road, it may sound more probable. Besides, the age for CPF withdrawal is age 55. If the legislated retirement age is raised, it will mean that people will have to wait more than 7 long years to get their monthly payments from their Retirement Accounts. More than 7 long years. Turn into a cow and eat grass in that period of time. Because most Singaporeans are asset rich and cash poor. When we get a sum of money at 55, most probably many of us will be too happy to spend it and do not think that much about saving it for a rainy day.

We need time. Time for our citizens to be more well-educated. Time for our employers to be more receptive. Time for us to learn more on the importance of retirement planning. Perhaps only then, we can see more of the elderly in the workforce.

Not that I'm that keen on working beyond age 62. I hope I will not need to work then. I want to enjoy my golden years. Heh. =)

I'm a hyperactive girl......

I'm feeling like a hyperactive kid tonight. Behaved like one just now in the office and now feeling rather awake still. Having a rather funny (as in hahaha) conversation with PL on MSN now. Talked about the girls on America's Next Top Model 2, Singapore Idol's judges, my ex-classmate aka the Lemon Tree guy and we're now at finding a life outside the computer. That's me by the way. Don't think PL has that problem.

I like Mercedes (on ANTM 2). She's so sweet and remains strong despite her illness. Yoanna's really bitchy (even though they are forever talking about how beautiful her face is). Camille's toning down a little and I thought she danced really well tonight. Shandi has got a lot of potential but she has a lot of issues too. April is too bent on winning that it feels like she's trying too hard. Anyway, I already know who's the winner, thanks to the internet. No, no spoilers here.

PL likes Ken Lim. I said he looks like a cheekopek. PL says he looks shy. I'll try to look for any traces of shyness in him. We both agreed that Olivero is the lousiest judge of all. He's the one who says rubbish week after week. Can't see how he really helps the contestants to improve.

Oh ya, PL said she saw Lemon Tree guy. Growing a beard. Quoting PL: "Full works". Can imagine his face full of moustache, beard and all. Don't know. I think he is trying to hide his features but PL could recognise him so I guess it doesn't help at all in masking his identity.

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I'm starting my dance classes (Hip Hop Hip Hop Hip Hop.....) this wednesday. I think I'm lucky for once when it comes to balloting. I actually got an email that I wasn't in the class but later on someone pulled out and I got the place. Wahahaha.

So imagine a silly thin girl doing hip hop. That's me.

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Good morning people, it's now 1.45 a.m. =)

Asaga mata kuru- Dreams come true.

Just remembered that song. Morning will come again. Morning is here and I'm going back to work. It's Bubbly's birthday. Happy birthday, girl! Hope you're doing well at your new job. =)

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Was talking to V about Christmas. He asked if I looked forward to Christmas. I thought and replied that I did and didn't at the same time.

What meaning does Christmas hold for you? To me, it's more of a feeling. I like looking at the decorations along Orchard. V said it was a sentimental kind of thing, a time to reflect on the year that has passed.

Then I mentioned the dream I shared. Flying off somewhere where it is snowing during Christmas, listen to people carolling and walk into a beautiful church. I want to make this dream come true soon. But with year-end closing for our operations, I wonder if leave is going to be embargoed every December. Sigh.

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Oh yes, I changed the blog layout. Think it looks so much better than the old one. What do you think?

P.S. While writing the entry, I was feeding a mosquito. The thing about mosquitoes, they get fat and heavy after drinking so much blood. I squashed it. Sorry.

You are Architecture.
You are the most functional art form and rarely do
anything without some practical purpose.
Although you are capable of easilly outstaging
the other arts, you usually prefer to go
unnoticed.


What form of art are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Brainless humour for people like us.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html

This is really stupid and funny.

http://maddox.xmission.com/

This is supposed to be funny too. Haven't visited it yet. Judging by how brainless the first url is, I think the second one should be of the same standard.

Enjoy.

Well, the application which was finally up on the web wasn't up to expectations. Some glitches were present where it was perfectly all right in the testing environment. There were some misunderstandings here and there and it took a whole week to solve the problem but I'm glad all turned out fine.

After a week of courses and clearing work after courses, I'm pretty tired physically. The past few evenings spent on clearing files were rather torturous. It got to one point that I just sat there and didn't feel like moving. Told myself just to get out of the office and finish the rest the next day. That's the only thing I don't like about attending courses for most of the week.

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So I spent the weekend at home. I was supposed to do some more testing for the application yesterday evening. Spent a few hours just trying to get online and I got really frustrated after five hours. Tried everything from changing the telephone line (had to move my lazy self to the supermarket to do that) to switching the telephone line, even tried shaking the modem but it didn't work. The modem just kept blinking. I gave up and read a book while waiting for it to connect. I finished the book. Dan Brown's Deception Point. It was okay but I think I skipped a lot of the tedious to read stuff. Especially the Delta force thingy. Delta One, Delta Two, Delta Three. How they tried to kill the people. I think I was just too sian over the internet connection. No, I'm not addicted to the internet or anything. Just that I had to email the programmer that the testing was complete but I couldn't even go online.

Oh well, I finished the book and stared at the modem and decided to try everything again. Called WW and asked if he had an extra modem so I could see if it is the problem. He gave me the number of the Singnet helpdesk and I called. Learned that I couldn't switch lines as it was an asdl line and the other was a normal line.

I went back to tightening and loosening the connections and changed telephone lines. Then I discovered something. The telephone wire was pulled loose and one end of a red wire was detached. I tried to twist it back and saw a tiny spark when I tried connecting the two ends. Tried a few more times and got electrocuted. That was the last straw.

Mom called Singtel and a technician came today. Solved the problem in 10 minutes or less. I couldn't understand what they were talking to each other in Malay but I caught some key words. Anyway his face told it all. It was easy-peasy for him and I spent close to 7 hours doing stupid things like getting myself electrocuted.

And it was free. And I'm now using my sister's computer instead of my own because I screwed up the settings on mine.

But I'm okay. *pats my own back* At least I tried.

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I spent today's afternoon watching "Life is beautiful". Got it some time ago but never got down to watching it. I felt rather disturbed after watching it. It reminded me of the concentration camps in "The Pianist". Different countries, different races but the feeling was the same. The scene where Guido was led by the soldier to some alley to be shot. He marched in a silly manner to make Joshua laugh even on the road to death. The gunshots.

I was looking forward to a happy ending but it was to be otherwise. The beginning was funny, the courtship was magical and the end was sadly touching. Anyway I thought the uncle and the horse were really funny. Some kind of dark humour though.