I love you too much to make you stay. Baby, fly away......

I've been busy. I think of random things to write as I sit at the bus stop in the morning listening to the radio, as I look out the window when in the bus, or when I observe people in the train. Then when I get to work, everything gets thrown out of my brain and I become yet another zombie in the city.

Sure, there are things to write, like how Au and I were in time to watch T'ang Quartet (we were rushing again) or how my piano lessons have been (it's kinda funny seeing a really small kid, maybe five or six years old, coming out of my teacher's room before my lesson each week. How cute. I'm such an old student). But I wish I had more to write. How I wish I have more interesting things to say.

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So Hrin is now in Vietnam to work. I missed the opportunity to meet up with her in December. And SF is coming back to Singapore on 11 February. I actually miss hanging out with SF. =) Doing things like KTV (and KTV and KTV).

Think most of us should be able to make it to the airport to have a nice chat over lunch. There must be a lot of really crazy stories and other crap which we'll throw in. So looking forward to it!

Talking about the airport. Well, I don't really like sending people off. It's that funny feeling of sadness when somebody I know goes away for a long period of time. I mean, if I didn't go to the airport to send the person off, the feeling is just that of "oh, ___ is going off to ___ for __ years. When will __ be back?" and occasionally thinking of "How is __ getting on?" during special occasions like new year or Christmas. But when I do send the person off at the airport, once the glass separates us and we wave goodbye to each other, there are these feelings of uncertainty and loss which linger and linger.

Like when I was a small kid, when we went to the airport to send Uncle Sotong off to Japan, everyone was giving him a hug. When it came to my turn, I was a little embarrassed and I remember I hid my face in his long, black coat as he gave me a warm hug. Or the time when Couz went overseas to study and I was still in the bird-shit green school uniform. And the time when FF went overseas to study and I sort of cried while waiting for the MRT to start moving from the Changi Airport station.

Getting a little sad writing this.

I miss everyone who's away from home or those who are no longer here. I miss the people I couldn't keep close to me.

So, when are you coming back? When will I see you again? If we're of different religions, will we end up in the same place? Why did you have to leave me? What could I have done to make you stay?

Questions you can't answer.