Tagore, birds, dogs and smells.

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Do you know where to find the english equivalent?

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As I was walking to the MRT station today, there were birds flying around as usual. One landed particularly near my feet and I deliberately walked very near to make it take flight. It led me to think about how I used to do that when I was younger and the birds would always fly away very fast, never allowing me to get too near them. Today, the bird didn't. Actually not just today; these days, birds don't seem to be afraid of my walking too near them.

Have I changed my way of walking or have the birds become less fearful nowadays?

Anyway, I saw this guy on a wheelchair wheeling himself in the direction of a block of flats where there was a dog barking very loudly. In the first place, I had already avoided walking near that block because I was afraid of the dog. When we got chased by dogs at Ubin, someone said that dogs can smell our fear. Another friend once said that dogs don't usually attack unless you invade their territory. What if the guy on the wheelchair got scared? Will the dog pounce on him and bite him? I wonder if dogs can recognise that the guy couldn't move like a normal person and let him off. Can't imagine if I am wheelchair-bound and a dog attacks me because I am scared and accidentally invaded its territory.

Oh well, I just walked on and before long, I got to the station. After getting into the train, I sat down and looked around like I normally did. The train started moving and the air in the train moved. The wind carried along with it a familiar smell. This smell of some perfume or whatever it is. The smell of someone. Have you experienced this before?

Many times I have caught that scent; many times I had tried to muster enough courage to go up to the person and ask what the brand is but never managed to do so. It is just too embarrassing to do so. Sometimes the scent confuses me. It can be a very distinct, "Yes, this is THE scent" or it can be, "Let me try to catch more whiffs of that to confirm". After all the trouble, the person leaves the place and I wonder when I would get another chance to identify the scent.

The scent of someone. It is as if the moment you smell it, you return to the past when you were still in contact with that person. It brings back a whole lot of memories. For example the smell of hair cream. Whenever I smell anything vaguely similar to what my babysitter's husband used, I remember the sight of him many years ago, combing the white coloured cream into his hair in front of the mirror. The cream disappearing into his hair while I curiously looked up. Then we would go "gai3 gai2" after he finished combing his hair. The trips where I would get to ride on those machines which moved when you slotted 20 cents in. Where he would order a cup of kopi-o and pour a little onto the saucer where I would drink from. When he was still strong. In my mind, I will always want to remember the times when he was still healthy. Not the time when he was weak in hospital and looking like someone I could not recognise. Or the time when he left us for good.

Oh well. Some memories you want or tend to forget. However, they come back when you least expect them to. With something as ephemeral as a smell from a stranger.