Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I've been staying off the net. Seems like I'm finally able to kick the five or six years habit of staying online every night.

This year feels a little different to me. Since Chinese New Year, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about what I want to achieve in life, what is important to me and the people in my life. I haven't really reached any conclusion or made any decision but I think I feel more at peace with myself now. Maybe what I really needed was a break.


The past weekend has been a busy one. On Saturday, PL and I met at the mrt station and took the train down to Changi Airport. As SF's flight arrival was at Terminal 1, we walked down further to take the skytrain. It so happened that when we got there, the skytrain was about to close its doors. PL managed to get in while I was stupefied and just stood there. We laughed so much.

Anyway, when I got to see PL again, we went to get some breakfast. Read the changi express and we looked for food outlets to have lunch with SF. Then we went to wait for SF at the belts. This was the really interesting part because we waited like 45 minutes or so. Got to see so many people get out of the hall. Some looked really, really tired (like they hadn't slept in days). Some looked like they travelled all the time. There were also some people holding placards, waiting to receive people whom they don't know. There were also many hugs. Quite fun to just stand there and see all these people interacting.

SF finally came out after a while and four of us (SF, his brother, PL and myself) went to have lunch at Soup Restaurant.

On Sunday, after I got home from lessons, we had lunch at Baccarat with some family members. It was quite a good spread. After which, we did some shopping and I went off for the Corrinne May concert at UCC. This is my fourth time seeing her sing live and she's come a really long way.

Apart from the strings accompaniment and new songs, it was her usual pleasant banter in her lovely voice. She sings really very well live. Her new songs (Shelter, Seeds, Leaving); I particularly liked Shelter but I can't remember the lyrics (was it "I can be your answer, let me be your shelter?"). Seeds was not bad too (something about how small something may be, you never know what it brings). Her new album won't be out this year so it's going to be another long year of waiting.

Strangely so, I feel less touched by her singing this time round.

似乎少了那曾经有过的那种感动.




Happy friendship day/Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

It's all about drama.

Am sleeping in ten minutes time.

The CNY break was a good break. I ate a lot, slept well, received and sent a lot of SMSes, watched a lot of tv and had time to practise. Didn't meet up with the relatives this year because all of us didn't want to go out for the annual dinner thingy we have every year since my primary school CNYs. This year, I only visited my nanny's place. In the end, I didn't visit xy's place but managed to meet up with the rest at Chjimes at night.

Well, the break wasn't just about all these things. I had time to relax and think properly. I didn't worry that much about work (although I worried more today and at this minute, I'm feeling a bit worried about tomorrow) but well, tomorrow's already Thursday. The weekend will come soon and it's time again for some tv.

Oh, and I actually watched the entire "Full House" drama. It made me cry and laugh at the same time. Think I'm going blind watching it the whole day. I actually wanted to stop halfway but I didn't want to stop watching when I was at the sad portions because it made me very, very sad (I cried! Can you believe it? I haven't cried in a long, long time when watching tv/movies) and I didn't want to go to work feeling sad so I persisted and watched till the very end. Stupidly, I still feel not-so-good.

Random things that came to my mind

1. If I could concentrate what remains of you in my mind and heart onto a strand of hair or a part of my fingernail, I can then throw it away.
2. I realise I'm searching for a perfect type of love which will never come by. It only exists in drama with happy endings.
3. I should start picking up my Japanese books again and attempt JLPT this year.
4. I will attempt to keep my room as clean as its current state for as long as I can manage.
5. I have to find a new job. Just so sick of all that shit. But first, I have to write good cover letters and resumes to secure interviews. I need to get back that drive I once had. I think the reason why I'm hating work nowadays is that I'm no longer feeling that I'm learning and I'm only dealing with shit day in, day out.
6. Why does Full House remind me of you?
7. I have a feeling that tomorrow's going to be a shitty day. I know I should stop it (the shit and thinking that it's surely a shitty day) but the only thing I can do is to sleep it off and wake up tomorrow to psyche myself.
8. There's this side of my home that's got a nice view of the sky and all. I think I'd love to sit there at night to chat with friends while the wind blows.
9. I love my nanny, whom I call Mother. She's 70+ years old.
I think she's disappointed that I hardly visit. The past few times I visited, she would tell me to go and stay at her place when I'm free. When I visited her a few days ago, when I was wearing my shoes to leave, she only said, "Do call when you're free. Mother is old already...". One of those moments which I'll always remember.
10. I'll get a tv to put in my room so I can watch more tv.