Monday, May 29, 2006

The irony of it

Last Sunday, as I made my way into the music school, I saw a notice pasted on its front door. They were looking for an admin person. I daydreamed about being that person as I stood at the corridor waiting for my lesson to start. I stared ahead at the portrait of this pianist who looked a bit like Einstein with the funny hair and then I thought about being in Toa Payoh the entire week, working weekends and doing that admin job day in, day out. It jolted me out of my daydream because I realised I would hate something so mundane. I go on to think about the at leasts. At least I have a bunch of great people at work whom I can share my ups and downs with. At least I am a better person. At least I don't have to deal with office politics. At least the job is stable. Da~da~di~da~

It is funny because I always thought that I would rather have a brainless job that doesn't pay too well where I can just live life without stress. It is funny because just a couple of weeks ago when I had a break, I was furiously looking out for a job because I thought I couldn't take it anymore.

I think it was the break. The thing about a slightly longer break is that time slows down and I realise how normal my life can be outside the workplace. I realise that I can be happy and not get the sick feeling when I think about the shitload of work. It always pushes me to think about submitting resumes and I always get a headache when I try to find openings. I always end up looking at the same few industries and I always come to the same conclusion that time is not ripe yet.

Argh.




Last Saturday, I was feeling very bored at home and wanted to just go out for a breather. Got WW to go out for dinner last minute and we spent some time at Fish and Co talking about his graduating, us having a mental age of 22 and 20 (myself and him respectively, ha!), relationships (my sis's relationship, K not wanting a girlfriend, difference in qualifications, age gap, maturity level etc.) and others (some blog of a girl from our secondary school). WW finally is graduating after years of worrying. Yay. Hope you manage to find a girlfriend soon. Wohoo!




I visited nanny last Sunday. Nanny should be 70 plus years old. She made a lot a lot a lot a lot of bazangs. Think 100+. I got 10 to bring home and ate two over at her place. We chatted for a couple of hours, just both of us. I used broken dialect and occasionally a little Mandarin (I think she's the only one who can understand me). I don't know if I suddenly became a little cleverer or something but I managed to understand quite a lot of what she said. Haha. I asked her if I should cut my hair and she said she likes the length. Or when I asked her if I have grown fatter, she said I've become fairer and looks a bit better. And when I said that work is tough, she just said that "I know". Then when we messed about in the kitchen looking at her pots and pans, she suddenly said that "Hey, we three (nanny, her daughter and I) can have steamboat some time. Just let me know when you come. I have some good stuff we can eat!" Her eyes twinkled as she said those words and I promised that I would go sometime soon.

I love my nanny 'cos she loves me. =) If only I manage to find anyone suitable, I would love to have him meet her 'cos she's very, very dear to me.

One thought that ran through my mind was that probably, I wouldn't get a chance to do that.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Thoughts from a Monday.

- I forgot to bring my handphone to work today. I had a missed call and two messages. The call was from my colleague who wanted to ask me where to buy the fish and chips I ate last week. One message was from PL and the other was from couz. Both were on meeting up.

- I met one couple in the morning. Having Monday blues because they called without making an appointment and I knew nuts about the case. Couple wanted to appeal and I really wanted to reject the appeal on the spot but did not have the heart to do so. Was forced to give a reply tomorrow. Think I can make it. Thought about whether to support the case for approval by boss but couldn't decide on what to do. Thought about it on the way home but pushed it aside because it was rest time.

I keep remembering one sentence. Rather than make a mistake, I should give the benefit of the doubt and help these people who may not be genuinely in need.

I think I know what to do tomorrow.

- Couple disrupted my schedule. Supposed to meet another customer and I was uncontactable by him. He was here to submit an application on behalf of his wife. Breast cancer. Stevens-Johnson syndrome. Big eyebags and watery eyes. No tears fell. We listened to him talk about his wife's illnesses. For a moment, I thought I was going to cry. What pain am I going through compared to him?

How many times did he say thanks? God bless? The warm handshakes?

I keep them in my thoughts. Amazing grace. I played that on the piano just now and I remembered the funeral.

- I don't know if it is good news. Is it a blessing? Or are there hidden costs?

- I owe people submissions. I hate to owe customers answers. It's as if I am playing God by deciding which appeal goes through and which doesn't. Tada, you get the money to buy your house. Tada, you don't 'cos I don't know how you spend your money and I decide how you spend your money.

- I am tired from today's work. I want to take the day off tomorrow but I know I can't.

- I value my privacy. I don't like strangers visiting late at night.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

誰かの願いが叶うころ



Information below from: http://www.utada-online.net/PV_dareka.html

This promotional video was directed by Hikaru's husband, Kiriya Kazuaki. He has done many of her music videos, including "FINAL DISTANCE," "traveling," and "Sakura Drops." This song was created for the film "CASSHERN," coincidentally also directed by Kiriya. The title of the song, "Dareka no negai ga kanau koro," (translated roughly to "Around the time someone's wish comes true"), is meant to first portray a positive image, and then as you delve further into the lyrics, you realize that it is meant to evoke sadness and contemplation.

"Around the time someone's wish comes true.... someone else is suffering." That is the message behind this song. The duality of our world. The contradictions and the choices we must make. This is quite eloquently portrayed in the video by the use of chiaroscuro, and using the light and shadow to contrast those opposing positive and negative aspects of our world.

Using a white paper pop-up book to portray the fragility of our world, and using a spinning backdrop and set to mimic the rotation of our world. When half of our world is in light, the other half is overtaken by shadow; the idea that we will always exist in a society where light and darkness will always balance eachother out. These tactics help to bring to life the concepts of Hikaru's deep and emotional lyrics.

A breathtakingly beautiful video.




My Japanese studies lecturer (Maclachlan?) once mentioned to our tutorial group that Utada was studying in Columbia at the time she was doing her PhD and we were going "wow"!

Well, I'm not quite sure what prompted me to search for Hikki's information online tonight but I found this song she wrote as a theme song for Casshern.

Enjoy the video.