Thoughts from a Monday.

- I forgot to bring my handphone to work today. I had a missed call and two messages. The call was from my colleague who wanted to ask me where to buy the fish and chips I ate last week. One message was from PL and the other was from couz. Both were on meeting up.

- I met one couple in the morning. Having Monday blues because they called without making an appointment and I knew nuts about the case. Couple wanted to appeal and I really wanted to reject the appeal on the spot but did not have the heart to do so. Was forced to give a reply tomorrow. Think I can make it. Thought about whether to support the case for approval by boss but couldn't decide on what to do. Thought about it on the way home but pushed it aside because it was rest time.

I keep remembering one sentence. Rather than make a mistake, I should give the benefit of the doubt and help these people who may not be genuinely in need.

I think I know what to do tomorrow.

- Couple disrupted my schedule. Supposed to meet another customer and I was uncontactable by him. He was here to submit an application on behalf of his wife. Breast cancer. Stevens-Johnson syndrome. Big eyebags and watery eyes. No tears fell. We listened to him talk about his wife's illnesses. For a moment, I thought I was going to cry. What pain am I going through compared to him?

How many times did he say thanks? God bless? The warm handshakes?

I keep them in my thoughts. Amazing grace. I played that on the piano just now and I remembered the funeral.

- I don't know if it is good news. Is it a blessing? Or are there hidden costs?

- I owe people submissions. I hate to owe customers answers. It's as if I am playing God by deciding which appeal goes through and which doesn't. Tada, you get the money to buy your house. Tada, you don't 'cos I don't know how you spend your money and I decide how you spend your money.

- I am tired from today's work. I want to take the day off tomorrow but I know I can't.

- I value my privacy. I don't like strangers visiting late at night.