There are plenty of things to write about, such as how I spent Christmas, New Year and what resolutions I have for the new year, but I haven't got down to writing all these. I took a break from the internet and did a lot of housework. It was nice. I know it's strange, no one really likes doing housework during holidays but it's kinda therapeutic. It's something like exercise.

Well, it's the new year and I'm back to work after having some long weekends. (Christmas weekend, New Year weekend). The "don't feel like going to work" feeling keeps coming to me every morning but of course, I just drag myself to the bathroom every morning.

It hasn't been easy but I try. It was all good until I lost my cool for the first time this year. Was preparing the annual statistics and having the usual problems which I again cannot solve. One thought led to another and I felt overwhelmed with frustration. I kept on wondering why I was doing this shit year after year and then I lost it. I went into the meeting room where the rest were having lunch, sat myself down and they passed me some fries to eat. I hadn't had lunch and most of them were finishing. They went out later and I sat in the room to calm myself down. I had about 15 min to reflect, eyes were teary but I didn't cry and I went out feeling better.

My new year resolution is related to what happened today. Be in control of my emotions. Be a better person. Haha. Well, I'm tired and just typing and typing and typing.

---

Just received a friendster message from an ex-colleague who left the workplace in 2005. We worked closely right from the start but unfortunately I don't think it was a very good idea. I was new and I was competitive. Haha. yea, I was competitive because I had the energy to compete and she was aggressive. Now I just don't really care. I just do what I like and what I'm supposed to do.

Anyway, she was the garang type and we both worked very hard, despite all the crappy things at work. Until she finally realized that she didn't want to do this shit anymore. Her mood and attitude turned rather bad in the last few weeks of work. I was particularly angry for the last presentation we had and I threw the ball into her court and left her to pick it up. It was a bit sad, the way the staff witnessed how things turned ugly.

We didn't part on good terms because of that but looking back, she was really a good co-worker. She was also a very "real" person and I respect her for that. So, tonight, when I read her friendster message, I smiled and I recalled how she looked like and how she laughed, her sweaty palms which wet the mic when we did a presentation together, the late nights we worked together, the arguments, blah blah. It's quite funny and I enjoyed the memories.

She told me in her message to stay crazy and happy, and to stay sweet always.

I'll tell her to do the same. =) Thanks.

P.s. Key word is crazy. Hehe.