Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Currently listening to: Holding on- Beverley Craven
Yet another of those familiar songs from yesteryear.

Loneliness.
Just now a girl from NTU called Class 95 and was talking about loneliness. That's the topic for tonight. She ended up talking about her breakup with her boyfriend three months ago. The DJ (I'm not sure who) tried to comfort her but I guess if I were her, I wouldn't feel comforted at all.
Oh well, I guess she wanted to call in because
1) this is the exam period.
2) She feels lonely and wants someone to talk to.
3) Most of all, she wants her ex to know how she feels.

I wouldn't say I have been through what she has gone through but I truly understand how it feels to be lonely, especially during exam period.
Hope she didn't cry or anything because of the DJ because I seriously felt that it wasn't very good advice.
The songs tonight are quite depressing. It's now "Can't cry hard enough" by Robertson Brothers.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Currently listening to: Sitting down here - Lene Marlin

So it's back to the grind again tomorrow. Looking forward to 8th April. Two more weeks before major presentation and I'm crossing my fingers and toes for what is to come. April will be a busy month; appraisal is due in April, presentation, boss will be on long leave and I was thinking of taking leave for April but now I think I can only wait till May.



Whatever happened to Ian Thorpe? He got himself disqualified because of noise?

Hayley Westenra. Try "Pokarekare Ana".




It's a dreamy Sunday afternoon. It's Sunday again. It's Monday tomorrow. Monday. It's March again. March. Soon to be April. So much to do, you just keep on going until you suddenly find yourself nowhere.

I thought that you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive.

Currently listening to: Insensitive - Jann Arden on Class 95.

Friday, March 26, 2004


Was thinking of keeping a lunchtime journal, something small that I can write in during lunch time. Haven't gone down to the bookshop near the workplace though. Anyway, work has been rather taxing. Unhappy things. Besides, friends haven't been really keeping in touch--everyone's busy with exams and assignments.

Miss the days when I was still in school. When things seemed so much simpler. Where people I knew were not so complicated. I don't like wearing suits, high heels, make-up. Bah, my eye bags are getting plumper.

I want to go out to cycle out to bedok jetty, run in the sunshine, go people-watching, watch movies, sing and dance like no one's watching, sit at Cavenagh bridge with friends, go to Botanical Gardens on a cool evening, watch vcds, listen to cds, send out a present to mentee, go visit my nanny, meet up with friends, eat eat eat, bring mentee out, go zoo, go to lotr exhibition, go on an urban hike, go to bukit timah hill, read up on Japanese, go out with cousin, read catch 22 and middlesex, shop for new clothes..

Will add to the list when I think of more.

My eyes still hurt from just now. Washed face and facial wash got into eye. Painful. Ran water over eyes and worse still. Eyes feel like they are puckered. Yowl. Painful.

I think I should sleep. Not making much sense.



Dogs versus cats.

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded and must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...



Dang! Cats aren't like that. Right? Right? Right?

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Hmmm..






You Are Most Like Miranda!


While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first

Guys are a distant third to your friends and career.

And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses.

Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen.



Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect...

But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.




Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like?
Take This Quiz Right Now!



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


The night a bird sat at my window.

Last night at around nine p.m., I was thinking of closing the windows and switching on the computer when I saw a black shape at one of the windows. I went nearer and saw this little bird sitting on the window sill. Excited at what I had found, I called out to my mom and sis and asked them to take a look.

It was strange that the bird was not afraid of us. It just sat there. Sis wanted to catch it but it just moved a little further out. Mom was saying not to catch it as we don't have a cage to keep it. Besides, we didn't know if it was injured or anything and by trying to catch it, it could just fall off and die.

So I just stood there in the darkness, looking at the bird. It looked like a chick with a long tail. Its feathers moved a little in the wind and it blinked its eye. Its body was spotted. It was fun just standing there and talking to it and when I thought it was comfortable enough, I reached out and touched its body. Was actually quite scared because I feared causing it to fall down. Besides, it had a sharp beak. Didn't know if it would peck me if I tried but anyway, Sis had already tried catching it and nothing happened so I just tried too.

It felt like a very soft soft toy but it walked a little further out as I touched its furry body. After a while, I decided to try switching on the light so I could see it properly. It was this white bird with a grayish body. On the gray parts, there were spots. Around the eye was a ring of orange. It also had a long tail. I have no idea what bird that is.

Anyway, I switched off the light after that and went online in the living room. When I turned in for the night, it was still there. I went to sleep.

Woke up in the middle of the night and I looked at the window once more. It had moved to another window. I went back to sleep.

Waking up in the morning, I sat up and looked at where it had sat the previous night. It was gone. Later in the day, Mom said that when she went to my room at around seven a.m., she saw it fly away.

I went to the windows and saw blobs of dried-up bird shit at the two window sills. Took toilet paper and brushed them off. Just realised that the shit could have fallen on someone. Oops.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Ding dong.

We're so reliant on our handphones that whenever we meet anyone, we'll just key in that person's name and handphone number. No one ever thinks of calling a person at home anymore. How many numbers from your handphone can you remember? I can only remember PL's and my sister's handphone numbers. Okay, maybe one or two more. How about you?




Shopping with girls is not fun. You can walk in and out of the same shops again and again and never get a single piece in the end. I dislike the ah beng thumping music we hear in some boutiques. It gives me a headache. I prefer to go shopping alone. Today, my sis got a grandtotal of a suit, a stretchy blouse and a skirt. I got muscle ache.




I received a keychain via snail mail. It's from my mentee. I slowly unwrapped it and then wrapped it back again. You know what is the feeling of sweetness emanating from your heart. That's it.




Sometimes you take the same escalator, you walk the same path. Then you realise that the person who was on the same escalator, that same person who used to walk together with you, had walked away too fast. The thought of having not held his hand tighter, lingers.

The more you take the same escalator, the more you walk the same path, the more you will realise that his hand just wasn't meant for you to hold. He was just a passerby. You too were a passerby in his life.

Sooner or later, there'll be someone who will walk by your side.




It must be a really special day today. 16 March 2004. I saw an ex-classmate during lunchtime. Another two while shopping. 3 people.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Nothing but the radio on.

It's a friend's birthday today. Someone from the past. I haven't seen her since graduation from junior college. That's about five years ago?

She is one of those people I always loved having around, someone with a really sweet character and smile, always ready to brighten up someone's day. I wasn't her best friend but I would have loved to be her best friend. Heard that she had got attached and is now working at a foreign bank as an auditor. Am happy for her.

Happy Birthday. =)



I just heard this song on Class95. Found it familiar and then got to know that it's a really old song from primary school days/sec one or two. Remembered those days when I stayed over at my babysitter's place in the holidays. Those days were beautiful; I woke up to have breakfast, read newspapers, a cool breeze, sitting on the cold floor by the steel gate, heard the radio blasting away. The family woke up really early and Sis Terri or Brother Sotong (not sure who) would switch on the radio. And I would listen. I often misheard the lyrics but the tunes stuck. Sometimes when I listen to old songs like these, I find them really familiar.

I never actually started listening to English songs until my tertiary days. That was after I grew sick of Chinese songs because all they sang about was love. Ironically, the English songs I like to listen to are also on love.



Life, shades of blue,
Love was bittersweet till I found you,
Time, after time,
Feelings disappear...

Friend, when we met,
Life was like a joke I didn't get,
But when you're holding me,
You make me understand,
What this heart is for...

Now we've nothing but the radio on,
We are dancing to a new emotion,
We've got nothing but the radio on,
We're making love in slow motion...

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

When the laughter fades away.


These days, I behave like a clown in the office. I don't mind behaving stupidly in order to hear laughter. You know how hard it is to maintain a sense of sanity in the midst of all the craziness? I guess all of us have our own ways of coping. What's yours?

There were a couple of times when I had laughed so much that I suddenly felt that I could actually start crying as hard as I had been laughing. Something like absolute euphoria suddenly replaced by ultimate despair. I convinced myself that, perhaps, I wasn't feeling too good those days.

Tonight it happened again. We were laughing so hard then I had that feeling creep up on me and I realised that maybe I was wrong. I had been trying so hard to laugh my stress and sense of emptiness away only to find that maybe laughter isn't the best medicine.

It's not a good night. May it be a better day tomorrow.

Monday, March 08, 2004

...and the taste of dried-up hopes in my mouth...


It's yet another week. I think I sound like I'm repeating my sentences every week or so. How boring is that?

It's been raining since last night. I had actually planned to go out today to do some shopping but decided against it in the end. Spent some time talking to PL then wasted the whole afternoon doing nothing much. I feel very unmotivated. An average youth around my age should be full of enthusiasm and energy; J is taking on two tuition jobs on top of a full time career, thinking of upgrading herself by taking the CFA course, another friend is a management trainee at Cycle & Carriage and having plans to be an entrepreneur. Me? I'm not saying I have to have a brilliant career or anything like that; things can really be simple yet perfect but I think I really need to know what I want to do, about what will make me happy. It's not that I never started thinking about it but I haven't really got an answer so far. Where are the missing jigsaw puzzle pieces?


WW has been behaving silly for quite some time. Oh well, not just some time. It's been a long time. Got permission to post this (Read from bottom up) :

"Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:45 PM
To : ME
heheheh

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:44 PM
From : WW
haha... i dun mind. maybe someone will noe the answer

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:44 PM
To : ME
I'lll post this later

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:44 PM
To : ME
hahahah

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
From : WW
dunnoe.


Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
To : ME
where to buy

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
To : ME
haizzz.

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
From : WW
i want gf for my bdae

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
From : WW
:)

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:43 PM
To : ME
=)

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:42 PM
From : WW
bleah

Date : 3/7/04 Time : 6:42 PM
To : ME
LOL


Shrugs. Okay, the clock has struck 12. It's time to go to bed so I'll be ready for the week's challenges. Really wanted to say crap instead of challenges but I will be positive.

I'll be brave. Pray for me. I'll be a good kid.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

SATC quiz


Your results are based on the four Elements of Astrology: Fire, Earth, Air and Water. Each Element has its own set of characteristics, and each of us displays some combination thereof, usually with a focus on one or two. Samantha, Miranda, Carrie and Charlotte each personify one of the Elements and its basic traits. Which Elements most strongly influence you?

You scored 40% Carrie
Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr. Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.


You scored 30% Miranda
You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign-like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Just like Miranda's had a tough time deciding whether to give in to the affections of Steve the Bartender, you don't give your heart up to just anyone. Miranda shies away from a relationship with Steve because he's 'just' a bartender, not something more conventionally ambitious or stable. Those with powerful Earth Sign qualities -- characteristics associated with Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn -- are cautious in love and seek stability and status over nearly anything else. Earth Signs provide a steady, realistic attitude and they can bring order out of chaos. A little-known Earth Sign fact: Incredibly sensual, you seethe beneath that smart, expensive business suit of yours, yearning for intimacy but hesitant to give up your material needs, your career ambitions or your responsibilities for a passionate moment that might not turn out the way you'd hope.


You scored 30% Charlotte
A romantic at heart, you chose the answers that demure Charlotte may have chosen. Strongly influenced by the intuitive, profound and sometimes na�ve Water Signs -- Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces -- you're like a mother, a mystery and a poet all in one. Though on the surface you may seem innocent and all about seeking the good in people, beneath the surface, you hide secret yearnings for intimacy, for attachment and ideal love. You're seeking a knight in shining armor, a soul mate, someone who will complete you and tether you to the earth when you get carried away with your fantasies. You're super-sensitive, soaking up the moods of others; you emote freely, crying at commercials and sappy movies. You also provide a shoulder to cry on and open arms for hugs. Be careful that you're not so wide-eyed and trusting that you get taken in by some cunning wolf in sheep's clothing.


You scored 0% Samantha
You identify with Samantha's bold and liberated Fire Sign qualities, characteristics associated with the Signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. You're strong, audacious and larger than life -- and you take what you want! Sometimes you can even be thoughtless and selfish, as you get so caught up in craving immediate gratification and excitement that you overlook someone's feelings. Your personal style likely reflects your desires: sleek, low-cut, revealing just a bit more than might be considered acceptable. Watch that you're not coming on too strong, though. You could scare potential suitors off with all your drama. If you seek so much attention, the more basic qualities of the Fire Signs could be burned right out of the picture. Show less skin or cleavage and more of your creativity, your vibrant leadership skills and courageous generosity!

Saturday, March 06, 2004




You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!

by C.S. Lewis

You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed
quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it
seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic
struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal
that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian
theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust
in zoo animals.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

King Kong King Kong. Sweetheart sweetheart


The title is just random shit. =)

As usual, I didn't get to watch the Oscars. Just read that ROTK was the big winner this year. I have no idea what LOTR is all about because I never watched any. I know it's like "WHAT?? You didn't watch it??" but the timing was always bad. Anyway, life's like that. You never know what you're actually missing until you get a piece of the action.

Oh yes, I got a DVD and VCD last week. HMV has this sale for DVDs and VCDs. In the end, I got "Seabiscuit" and "The Virgin Suicides". The former is inspiring while the latter is dark. I loved both. Maybe I'll finally get the book by Jeffrey Eugenides and have a read.

Onto the Razzies. Ben Affleck got the Worst Actor award in the Razzies, having acted in Gigli (what kind of movie is that?), Daredevil and Paycheck. There! Daredevil. Aha, the horrible movie of 2003. The mentors can never forget how bad it was. How hard I laughed in the cinema with all those stupid scenes I can't really remember now.



I'm tired, I'm sad, I wanna cry but I'm okay. I'll be......

Dancin' in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm and right
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight

Monday, March 01, 2004

Time goes slow.


Mark (Via poster board): With any luck by next year I'll be going out with one of these girls.
Shows pictures of models
Mark (Via poster board): But for now, let me say, without hope or agenda, just because it's Christmas (And at Christmas you tell the truth). To me, you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you until you look like this:
Shows a picture of a mummy
Mark (Via poster board): Merry Christmas.

Billy Mack: "Kids, this is a message from your Uncle Billy. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give them to you for free!"

Mikey, DJ interviewer: What's the best sex you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears. No, only kidding... she was rubbish.
"



Some people may call me stupid but I watched it again. And I'm writing an entry on it again!

Okay, my colleagues said it's a waste of money since I had watched it last December. Anyway, some don't like it. =P They aren't sure why I like it so much. Well I told them the show makes me happy. It does.

Oh well, it's a little different this time. I watched the uncensored version tonight. Actually it wasn't very different. At least the feeling was the same. Almost. This time round, I laughed without inhibition. 'Cos I watched it alone. Haha. And yes, Karl is as hot as ever. Even guys drool over him. Lalalala.



The clock in the office didn't work properly today. I was supposed to go for lunch at 12 and the clock showed 11 plus. Then I heard the bell that ding-dongs on the 1st of every month at noon and realised that there was something wrong. Looked at my watch and scuttled off to take the lift.

While taking the MRT to Orchard tonight, I crossed the platform to take the North-South line. That was at Raffles Place. The voice-over said "Next stop, Raffles Place interchange". I was quite surprised. Wasn't it supposed to be City hall? The face of the lady opposite me mirrored my reaction. So when I got out at Somerset, it was going "Dhoby Ghaut".

Strange. Slow by an hour. Slow by a station.