Currently listening to: Chain of Hearts (Solo Piano), Cherish (Oceanside Piano) - Kavin Hoo

On work and taking a break

Things have been moving slowly but I'm not complaining. Like what I told a colleague the other day, work this year has been much better compared to last year. Although not as challenging, knowing the reward system here stinks, I'd rather not have the stress that comes along with the challenging stuff.

As usual, I'm thinking of when to take a long break. I don't know how many times I have mentioned in this blog that I need a break and need a break and need a break.

I was thinking I want to take two weeks off. The longest break I've had from work in the past two/three years was one week plus. That included attending a course.

Mom asked if I'm going overseas later this year. I'm not sure yet. Maybe somewhere nearer this time round and somewhere I don't have to do much walking and talking. I think I'm burnt out. Despite going home on the dot these days, I can't seem to find the energy I had before. Yet, it's not to the extent where I dread going to work everyday. Work's really much better these days. (I crossed my fingers after I typed that).

On relationships

A couple of days ago, thanks to my uncle who came to visit, my sis had to sleep in my room. As her birthday was last week, I took a day off and we spent Thursday together doing girly things like shopping, coming home to put on facial masks and we watched a dvd together at night before sleeping. From the smses she receives, her silly smiles and stupid chatter at times, she looks very happy these days (in mandarin, she's what you call a small woman in bliss). I'm glad for her. Well, she's found the person who will make her happy and whom she'll start a new journey with soon. As for myself, I can only wait.

But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart

So that thought came to mind when I was in my room, thinking, with the lights off and with my handphone in hand. I looked at my calendar, scrolled back and forth in time and decided. Sent two messages. One to MS because I'm worried (he usually calls me once in a while but I think he's too busy these days) and the other to someone I haven't met/talked to in years. Surprisingly the latter replied in about ten minutes. I had expected no reply.

My heart hasn't given me any answers since that night. It was never meant to be easy.